128

i get angry with fear when my mouse accidentaly goes around the auto-talking people from the videos on the homepage of last-fm. it's a bit like the stupid calls that you get in the middle of the night. and you jump with some feeling just like a homogenious mixture of being afraid and pissed off at the same time.

i believe each emotion has it's levels and unique tastes and even smells. the one above for example is closer to the anger with a bit of being right in the middle.
jealousy is really strong for example. it's like different types of lemons. seeing your boyfriend smiling to another girl is one kind and looking at the pictures of your ex and his new lover is another kind on the other hand. there are also close kinds but they can be only seen as a close family tree's products. hearing or seeing your crush with the girlfriend for example can not be lemons. sure it has the sour part but you do not shake to the core and the really special effect of electricity pouring from the brain to the front of the face like a fall is not present in this type of jealousy. it is close to feeling right but sulky at the same time and checking if someone has noticed you from the happy crowd. yes it's actually a coctail from those. a little bit lemon a little bit orange juice with some mint syrup dropped to sweeten up.

my throat is itching and germs i believe are present for i find it hard to gulp.
sia sings where i belong and i, this time am not surprised that it can hit me once again after all this time. i don't know why it hurts this much but when accompanied with inara george - fool's work i want to bite the apple of my nostalgia mixed with some cinnamon of brokenheartedness.
fill the bathtub with some warm milk for it's cosy and familiar, put daffodils in it for they somehow make me think of my mother. get into the bathtub and forget all about it. then open the windows and change the linens with the clean ones. they smell into your dream and you smell just like home.

No comments: